Sunday, November 22, 2009

Music and Bed Sheets

Michigan, November 2009
How much protection can a 200-thread count bed sheet provide a guitar on a misty November day? The only person I know who could possibly answer that question is my very own Eastside urban cowboy, the one who wears black combat boots, white sweat pants and a cowboy hat if no other reason than each item appeals to him individually. He is not a big picture man.

But he is resourceful. While grappling for his combat boots under his nephew’s bunk bed, where he’s been passing out for the last six months, the little fellow walked into the room wearing a dewy rain jacket and the Eastside cowboy thought, “Dang, how am I going to walk my guitar around the neighborhood without getting it wet?”

Pulling his head out from under the bed, a thin sheet with happy little fish brushed his cheek and two minutes later, he left the house, sheet swaddled guitar in hand, destination unknown.

White Trash Workout

Colorado, November 2009

Typically when you see someone over the age of 25 walking their asses around town, you can be certain of one of three things. a) They can't afford a car b) They are trying to be "Green" or C) DUI. I at first argued that the case at present is option C.

The aforementioned person walks by my house daily. Stopping periodically to stare at house fronts. She is about 50 years old and heavyset. She wears a tight pink down jacket when it's cold out, and a teal fanny pack ALWAYs. We live in a location that is close to the old part of town with boutique stores and restaurants. However, I am pretty sure when I saw her walk out of the low income housing unit across the street that she was not headed to Cafe Adour for a latte. Sure enough, 3 hours later she rounds the bend carrying her weight in Walmart bags.

So...maybe this is actually an option D. A weightloss solution. There are no freaking bus stops between here and Walmart, which is about 2 miles away. So, she walked her pink butt all the way to Walmart, loaded up on sherbet and tostinos and walked all the way back home. I am officially resigning my gym membership today, loading up on the carbs I swore off and have dusted off my fanny pack for my adventure tomorrow.